week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
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