i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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