My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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