He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
