i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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