barbara walters just said penis...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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