Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
