We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
