At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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