I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
