JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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