I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
