Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
