is your mom at the bar?
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
