i don't plan on having that self control this summer
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
