trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize