2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
