It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
