the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
