Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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