clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize