I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
