dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
