put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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