your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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