You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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