Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
