Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Randomize
