yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I still have a little drunk in my system
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
