So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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