Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I'm really busy with my period
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