I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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