our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
