Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
