just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
