Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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