She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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