living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
only if we run a train.
done.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
