He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize
