Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
