It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
