I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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