fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
