was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
i think my cat just said my name.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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