That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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