Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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