How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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