I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Randomize
