Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
