just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
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Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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