when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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