tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize
