You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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