when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
