my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
People in love make me want to vomit
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
