Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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