420 ftw
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Randomize
