U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
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