he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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