Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
