WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
