i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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