2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I just forgot I was standing up.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
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