Im at strip club and am horny
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
