You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
