I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
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