week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Who died my cat blue again?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize
