so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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