It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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