fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
